girlymama

now she is six

The End by A.A. Milne

When I was one
I had just begun
When I was two
I was nearly new
When I was three
I was hardly me
When I was four
I was not much more
When I was five
I was just alive
But now I am six,
I'm as clever as clever;
so I think I'll be six now
for ever and ever

 

happy birthday, baby girl.

hit the crazy wall

So Colin is sick with croup and I'm going on my 4th night of terrible sleep. I think I've gotten - at most - 5 hours of (non-continuous) sleep a night over the past few days. Colin is sleeping for maybe two hours at a time - the other night he was up until midnight, then up from 2-4, then woke up for the day at 6:30. Now he's so overtired he can't fall asleep. He just screams. Its super fun. There is a reason I am drinking pretty much nothing except was has caffeine. Mama needs her sleep and I'm about to hit the crazy wall.

You moms know what I mean by the crazy wall. We can go for a long time with very little sleep. We're a little out-of-it, but we're functioning (with copious amounts of caffeine) at a fairly normal level. You can go like this for a few days, usually.

Then you hit the wall.
The "I need sleep" wall.
The "I am this close to losing it" wall.
The "Why do these children keep bothering me" wall.
The 'If I don't get sleep soon, something bad will happen" wall.
The "Lets hide from Mommy in our rooms" wall.

I'm so there today. I am so exhausted that I'm no longer functioning properly. I'm completely spacey, I have zero ability to focus, I have a headache, my whole body is aching... and I'm definitely not going to win any parenting awards today. Unless its for "Least Patience" or maybe "Most Easily Annoyed."

So today I'm taking a nap. I have tons of work to do, but I don't care. I'm putting Colin down for a nap, putting in a movie for the girls and sleeping until its done.

mama bay-bee

I was rocking Colin in the rocking chair before bed and he laid down sideways, wanting me to cradle him like a newborn. He was cuddling his blanket next to his face and sucking on his finger.

"Are you Mommy's baby or Mommy's big boy?" I asked.
"Mama bay-bee. Me Mama bay-bee," he replied.

And he is my baby still.

Despite the fact that his legs are hanging over the side of the rocking chair because he's so tall.
And that he now sings along with his lullaby and prays with me.
And usually informs me that "No bed. Me no sleepeee."

The baby stage is far behind us. I blinked. Now were talking about potty training and preschool. I have a little man who is only a shadow of my baby boy. But as long as he's still calling himself my baby and still wants to cuddle with me and still loves to grab my face and give me slobbery kisses and says "Wub ouuuuu, Mama" and  loves to hold my hand.... 

He's still my baby.

no one 'does it all'

With three small kids, a husband with a demanding job, running three blogs and my own design  business, to say that life is busy around here is an understatement.  Recently, several people have asked me, "How do you do it all?" which just makes me want to laugh.

Haven't we women figured out by now that NO ONE does it all?

Some of us work full time, some of us stay home with our kids. Some of us travel for work or have husbands who travel, leaving us alone with the kids. Some of us volunteer at school or in the community and really do look like we have it all together and some of us don't.  We all have to take care of our kids, our homes, our families and ourselves.   And we all have 24 hours in a day.

Everyone makes compromises. If you are choosing to do something (working, blogging) then you are choosing not to do something else (laundry, sleeping).  My friend who works full time in a very high-profile job has a full-time nanny and a cleaning lady - and she proudly states that without their help, she'd be a mess! Another friend home schools her FIVE kids - and she confesses her only time to herself is reading a single chapter in a book before falling into bed at night. Another friend works part-time from home while her kids run around, but confesses that her house is an absolute disaster during the week.

Personally, I may have started working, but I've stopped doing lots of other things. My house is nowhere near as neat as it used to be, I'm rarely finding time to exercise or have time to myself and my family has been eating more take out than I care to admit. Yet I constantly deal with guilt about not "doing more."

We have a very unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to each other.
We need to remember that NO ONE "does it all” and no one's life is perfect.
We should never feel in adequate or inferior because of something we don't do or don't have.
Life is just too short.

if their heads weren't attached....

Gracie: "Mom! When did you paint the bathroom?"

Me: "What bathroom?"

Gracie: "The one downstairs! You painted it. When did you paint it brown?"

Me: "Over a year ago."

Gracie: "REALLY?!?!"

I'm torn. On one hand I have to laugh that she truly JUST NOTICED that I painted the bathroom.

On the other hand, this is one thing that frustrates me to no end about her. She just does not pay attention. She will come up to me and say "I can't find my shoes anywhere!!" And I will say something like, "They're sitting right next to you" or "That's because you're already wearing them."

(Yes, that actually happens.) 

Honestly, how do you get your kids to pay attention? When I tell them to look for their [shoes, books, backpack, coat] they inevitably come back to me saying "I can't find it!" I tell them exactly where to look, and they can't find something that is sitting in plain sight. Gracie has actually come into our room at 3am to tell me she can't find her blankie when it is sitting right on her pillow. 

Is this some kind of stage? Please tell me they grow out of this!

livin' the glam life of a mom of youngsters

Yesterday, Colin walked up to me and said "Hee-yah, Mama!" and handed me a booger.
Sadly, this is not unusual. And this tops the list of

Things I Will Not Miss When My Kids Are Older

1. Wiping other people's noses.
2. Clipping other people's toe nails.
3. All TV programs geared towards children. And their theme songs.
4. Diapers in general.
5. Having to keep tabs on other people's bathroom habits including, but not limited to, reminding people to flush, wiping people's bottoms, and reminding people that if they want privacy, they need to shut the door.
6. Planning all activities around naptime and/or crankiness levels.
7. Wrestling kids into car seats, shopping carts, strollers who clearly don't want to be there.
8. Happy Meals.
9. Being used as a human trash can.
10. Little people sneaking into my bed at night.

Things I Will Miss When My Kids Are Older

1. Cuddling while reading books or watching tv
2. Excitement over simple things.
3. My kids being sad when I leave and ecstatically happy when I come home.
4. Teeny-tiny Crocs.
5. Little hands holding mine, little arms hugging my neck, sloppy kisses.
6. Songs sung with the wrong lyrics, but that are actually a lot funnier.
7. The sweetness. Oh, the sweetness.
8. Cute little outfits. Like sweater vests and Easter dresses.
9. Disney movies.
10. Little people sneaking into my bed at night.

two years ago today, i fell in love with a boy

you have completed our family in a way we never imagined,
its nearly impossible to remember what our family was like without you.
you captured our hearts and have brought us immeasurable joy.
watching you grow up has been amazing.

we love you more than words can say.
happy birthday, little man.

sisterhood of the traveling husbands: coming home

Today we're tackling the fourth installment in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I'm sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you're on your own at home.

PART FOUR: Coming home

Think about this: what do you want your traveling husband to come home to?

Do I want him to come home to a messy house, to be greeted by a long list of chores and complaints from a cranky wife? 

Or do I want him to walk in to a peaceful, comfortable place full of people who are thrilled to see him?

Do I want him to have to pause at the door and brace himself for the chaos he's about to face?

Or do I want him to walk in the door to our home and want to be nowhere else in the world?

I try hard to make sure my husband does not come home to a disaster. I clean the house during the afternoon on the day he is coming home. My kids like to “help” me, by dusting or cleaning up their room. I usually go grocery shopping that day as well and make sure I have a good meal planned - after eating out for a few days he's usually dying for a home cooked meal. Then, if I can, I'll even get the kids bathed and dressed in their pajamas. 

So what feels casual is actually quite deliberate: house is clean, the lights are on, dinner is simmering on the stove, the kids are bathed, ready for the night and playing quietly, maybe I'll have music playing... when he walks into a house, everything is done. We can eat dinner and just relax and be together.

(Of course, there's been a few times that Husband has surprised us and come home early before we've prepared for his arrival. He finds it hilarious how we really live when he's gone ;-)

I highly recommend the book Heaven at Home: Establishing and Enjoying a Peaceful Home. It helped me create a vision of what I want our home to be - a place of refuge from the world, a place of love and acceptance and a place of refreshment - both for our family and for everyone who enters our home. There are fabulous chapters about encouraging your spouse, cultivating peace between siblings and structuring your day.

After all, home is where the heart is. And there's nothing like coming home.

sisterhood of the traveling husbands: planning is key

Today we're tackling installment three in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I'm sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you're on your own at home.

PART THREE: Planning is key

Planning can drastically reduce your stress. Afternoons and evenings can drag like you would not believe. Actually, if you're a parent, you probably can believe it. (For me, evenings are when I totally start to lose it.) Planning ahead will save your sanity. Trust me.

Plan some activities: The first night Husband is gone on a long trip, we go to the library to get new books and movies. We have Popcorn Pajama Parties, where the kids and I pile up on the couch in our pjs and watch a movie, we’ll snuggle up in bed and read books all evening, we draw pictures for relatives and write letters, we make a Lego town, or we bake cookies or banana bread for breakfast.
Just be sure to plan something so you don't end up sitting on the floor with your kids crawling all over you telling you they're bored. Which never happens to me. Ahem.

Plan some outings: Some nights I need to get out of the house. Especially if I've been home all day with just the kids, getting out of the house for an hour or two is so therapeutic. You know the feeling. So we’ll head over to

• Head to Barnes and Noble and look at books (and pick up an nice skinny caramel latte for mama).
• We're lucky enough to leave 15 minutes from Ikea and the kids LOVE to go there. We can all eat dinner in the bistro for around $5. The older kids play in Smaland while I walk around dreaming of a perfectly organized house.
• The library, as i mentioned above. Ours even has evening story times once a week.
• Walk around the mall - you get to window shop and they get to run around, play on the kids play areas and throw pennies in the fountain.

Plan a backup plan: Pick up a movie or toy on sale and save it for when you really, really need it. If your kids love stickers, have a stash of stickers handy. My kids love to color, so I pick up new coloring books at the Dollar Store to pull out on a particularly long night.

Plan together: Send out an SOS email – there is probably another mom who has a traveling husband too! Get together! One mom brings the nuggets, the other brings the french fries, the kids get entertained and you get some adult conversation! If you're parents live nearby, head over there for dinner. I can't tell you what a lifesaver this can be!! 

What are your family's favorite after dinner/before bedtime activities?

sisterhood of the traveling husbands: keep it simple

Today we're tackling installment two in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I'm sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you're on your own at home.

PART TWO: Keeping it simple.

The Meals: I’m totally not motivated to cook when my husband is gone. And my kids love it. Here are some of our favorite Daddy's out meals:

• scrambled eggs
• pancakes
• quesadillas
• black bean burritos
• chili
• hearty beef and macaroni
• chicken nuggets (love Trader Joes chicken drumettes)
• grilled cheese and soup

Paper plates are your friends. So is take-out. That delivers.

The House: The house tends to get a little messy. Okay, trashed. I don't really bother wasting energy trying to keep it picked up. I just do a big clean the day that he's coming home and don't stress about it!

The Kids: They're going to be asking more of you, so prepare for it. Carve out extra play time in your schedule. Usually, they play with Daddy while I clean up from dinner, so I make sure to schedule some good playtime after we eat. (Again, paper plates = friends!) Cut corners when you can and give yourself a break - if letting them buy lunch lowers your stress level, let them. But try to keep important routines in place, like family devotions or bedtime stories, even though Daddy isn't there.

The Mama: My schedule is totally different when I'm on my own. When I'm running around trying to get everyone to school or wherever they need to go in the morning, I just can't squeeze in a shower. (Plus, you can only imagine the trouble my son can get in during the ten minutes I'm in the shower!) Plus, I can't stay up late or it catches up with me really quickly. When the kids go to bed at 8:00, I take a shower then go to bed and read or work on my blog or something quiet. If I stay up late one or two nights, its just too hard to get up and function the next day!

How do you simplify when life gets super busy?