This morning I was supposed to leave for NYC before Colin woke up, so he wouldn't notice I was gone. But the little bugger woke up a wee bit early (at 4:30 am – as you know he shows love to his parents by spending time with them when they'd rather be sleeping) so I did spend quite a bit of time with him before I left at 6:30. And I got to play with him for a bit when I got home and put him to bed.
But now the odyssey begins: because I left him today, he is not going to sleep tonight. He will wake up every hour or so and scream for me at the top of his lungs. And not calm down until I pick him up and cuddle him. When he will gaze into my eyes, trying to fight his drooping lids. When he will grab on the my pajama top for dear life, like I'm going to disappear if he lets go.
This is my payment for leaving him all day. I know he's not being mean or punish me (even though it feels that way around 2am). He just missed me and he's scared I'm going to leave again.
I'm half annoyed and frustrated that I can't leave for 12 hours without him feeling abandoned.
But I'm half secretly glad that he loves me, needs me and misses me that much.
About Melissa
Isn’t that the most annoying part about that age? The love is the best. Except when you’re trying to get away from it all!
And, um, TOTALLY excited to meet you tomorrow!
When he’s 16 you’ll be wishing he cared if you were around once a week or not… poor guy.
The poor guy, it is hard. Poor you for getting the Mommy Guilts! I hope he gots some sort of sleep last night so you could as well.