I'm losing it, you guys. I'm not exaggerating. It is only a matter of time before I snap and do something really dumb. Like what almost happened yesterday when I put the car in reverse instead of drive and hit the gas. In the preschool parking lot.
Let me tell you why I am losing my mind. This was my night last night:
8:00 – Colin goes to bed. Goes right to sleep without a whimper.
10:30 – Mommy goes to bed.
11:00 – Colin wakes up, screaming. Mommy changes his poopy diaper and tucks him back in.
11:15 – Colin screaming. Pat back, calm down, tuck him in, return to bed.
11:25 – Colin screaming. Pat back, calm down, tuck him in, return to bed.
11:30 – Daddy takes Colin downstairs to watch the Phillies while Mommy goes back to sleep.
12:45 – Daddy puts Colin to bed, Daddy goes to bed.
1:00-3:30 – Colin still awake. Alternate periods of screaming at the top of his lungs and laying quietly in my arms.
3:30 – Mommy puts Colin back to bed, returns to bed.
3:35 – Colin screaming. Pat back, calm down, tuck him in, return to bed.
3:37 – Colin screaming. Pat back, calm down, tuck him in, return to bed.
3:40 – Colin screams. Mommy marches downstairs, is quite mean ("You WILL go to sleep NOW OR ELSE!!"), tucks him in and returns to bed.
5:00 – Colin screams. Daddy takes this one, pats back, calms him down, tuck him in, return to bed.
5:45 – Gracie crawls in our bed, claiming she had a bad dream.
6:00 – alarm goes off. None of us move.
6:10 – Ellie crawls in our bed.
6:50 – Colin wakes up.
THIS IS NOT UNUSUAL!!! If you read that carefully, I've been getting roughly 4-5 hours sleep. That are not consecutive. I can barely keep my eyes open most days, I'm forgetting important things (like deadlines or what day it is) and I can barely follow basic conversations. I'm just so, so tired. So tired. Sooooo tired.
I have no idea what to do. He's not teething or sick except for a touch of the sniffles… we can find no reason for his not sleeping. This has been going on for a couple months now. About once a week he'll actually sleep from 8 to 6 without waking, but every other night he is up at least twice. And the best part? He screams SO LOUD that he often wakes up the ENTIRE family when he's up. So even the girls are not getting good sleep.
I need help. Has anyone else dealt with this? What do you do when your kid won't sleep?
About Melissa
Oh, I do feel for you! I remember those nights – not fun. We’d have them on occasion, lasting for 1-3 weeks, and it was almost always a growth spurt. A little extra feeding helped a tinge, but not as much as I’d've liked (4 hours of interrupted sleep, ugh). Rescue Remedy & those natural teething tablets helped, too (even tho they weren’t teething). Hope you get sleep soon – hang in there!
Ugh. You are getting less sleep than I am! Not fair for you! But I sure feel your pain. (Although last night Carter was doing the same crying every 10 minutes thing … till I fed him a piece of cheese. Kid was just hungry cuz he NEVER EATS HIS DINNER!) Anyhow, I digress. Does he seem to be truly awake or is he just screaming out in a half-conscious state? If he’s not really awake, it could be night terrors. My kids never had this but I have a friend whose daughter did this. I’m not sure what the solution would be but you could look it up. My one and only idea. Ok, the only other idea is letting him scream but I know how “pleasant” that option is … for the whole family …I was never good at that one.
Here is what we found out yesterday…what the dr asked us about Boo’s sleeping issues
- Does he have music in his room?
- A nightlight?
- Do you leave the door open?
If our answers to this were yes (they weren’t but she told us anyway) to stop. Take out his music, light and close the door all the way.
- What time does he eat last?
- Does he have a bottle or sippy cup in his bed?
Our dr told us that anything close to an hour before bed for food or drink is not good. It can make the stomach tighten up and then the person is just awake.
- Does he sleep better with you?
Try putting a mattress or packnplay (not sure if he is still in a crib) in your room. Maybe he just needs that closeness for a little while. You can slowly move it out of your room but maybe that helps. OR, put something on the floor in his room and slowly move yourself out of his room.
We did the mattress on the floor in our room last night with her new meds and it helped, but I think it was more the meds than anything else.
If all else fails…talk to your dr. They will have ideas too.
Good luck hun, I know how you feel and it sucks!
Yep, I’ve been there, although it didn’t last that long (as in clear through the night, only a few hours). I would check on her the first time, diaper, water, food (if necessary), teeth, pain? and put her back down. After that I would let her cry for hours before going back in. She never really needed anything. It lasted two nights (of crying) and now she NEVER cries in her crib. She’ll just sit there and play until we come in.
It’s not the most pleasant route but if they really don’t need anything, it’s the best way to get across the point that nighttime is for sleep.
How old is he?
hes 19 months. waaaayyyy too old for this nonsence!
A. has gone through periods like that but they seem to pass more quickly than Colin’s have. Often, when I put her down she screams so much that she poops, but I can usually get her to go down after that. I agree with Kellyn – talk to your pediatrician.
I’m really sorry friend! Mommies desperately need their sleep!
Oh my, no sleep is horrible for mommies!! If you can bear it, I would let him cry it out. It will probably be a very long night or two, but it will break the pattern he’s gotten himself into. Hope this phase ends soon.
thanks, susan. im realizing that crying it out is probably our only option. im just hoping someone out there has a magic formula. probably not, though, huh?
How old is he?
My son is 1 and has finallllllly started sleeping normal hours. (But still likes to wake up and cry for a minute or ten about 5am). Anywhoo, I finally picked up the Sleepeasy Solution book and it really helped b/c it gave step-by-step…uh, steps. Anyway, it might be worth looking at!
Here’s to more sleep for you!!
a
We are right there with you! Miss Wiggles has learned that it is more fun to snuggle with Mommy than sleep in her own crib! She does the exact same thing – goes to bed great and wakes up scream right after I drift off to sleep.
The worst is that Daddy sleeps through it all – even with her laying next to him screaming!
We have the pack and play in our room and that’s where I’ve been letting her scream it out. But its not easy!
Good luck!
Oh goodness. I’m so sorry. Drew wakes up often still and we let him crawl into bed with us—something I swore I’d never do. But, it helps us all get more sleep and, frankly, that is just crucial right now. Mark and I take turns putting him back and sometimes he just stays. I’m so sorry that you are so beat right now. Being sleep deprived affects EVERY part of your day.
Oh my. So familiar. We still go through periods of this too. I’m not capable of cry it out. Wedo tho still get up and give him abinky. And honestly going to “school” 3 mornings a week has helped. Hrs active and just really needed a challenge and stimulation, I think. My heart hurts for you. Time to get a really good sitter for one night and go sleep in a hotel. I haven’t done that yet, but fantasize about it all the time.
I wouldn’t be functioning.
My advice is to bring him in bed with you if he would settle that way. I know it’s not popular, but it works for us.
If that doesn’t even work, then CIO. It’s horrid, I know. I’m not a fan. It’s my last resort.
I am so sorry you are going through this! We went through this BIG TIME with my son (now 2), and I really don’t have any great advice. My husband and I took 15 minute “shifts” of trying to comfort the screaming child because it was just that awful. I still have a little PTSD from it, I think. Ultimately, we just let him cry it out since he was screaming no matter how much we held him, rocked him, fed him, etc. Controversial, I know, but ultimately it worked. The lack of sleep can really make everyone miserable! I hope you get some relief soon. I definitely agree with the commenter who suggested to get a babysitter or family member to come help out for a night so you can get some good sleep. Hugs!
Hannah is a really good sleeper. Every so often she’ll have a night like this. When it first starts (after about he third unsuccessful re-tuck). I will get her out, change her butt (If necessary) and feed her. I then give her some Motrin/Tylenol whatever we have for her at the time and then let her stay up for about 30-45 minutes with Noggin or Sprout on the TV. Doesn’t always work but I found it does for the most part! Good luck, I think I would be ready to shoot myself!!!
Another thing and I know this sounds completely insane but my mom had a crib mattress that was a different brand than mine and Hannah would not sleep on it. She would toss and turn all night and get up crying. Needless to say my mom went out and got the same brand as me and she was fine after that.
I can’t offer advice, because I’m as stumped as you are.
All I can say is that this will not go on forever, there has to be light at the end of this tunnel.
Praying for you.
I am dumbfounded. But I did look at books for you on Amazon and found this book
….it has over 700 reviews and is rated 4.5 stars.
Hope you find something that helps!
Well, the hyperlink did not work so just copy and paste this…
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8s=booksqid=1256305287sr=8-2
I wish there was more I could do to help.
my 27 mo. old is doing this and now it’s “sleep training” — cry it out. She screamed for 42min. on Wednesday night; last night she slept through (well, I know she was awake at one point b/c I heard her rattling around in her crib, but she didn’t scream and went back to sleep).
I know some people will think letting them cry it out is cruel, but seriously we’ve tried everything else in the past 2 weeks and I’m too tired to continue.
This is why I don’t have kids. Because I’d be thinking to myself “Benedryl.” And that would be so wrong, right?
I really hope you get this solved soon – losing sleep is the worst!
I was still thinking about you while falling asleep last night.
- how much is he sleeping during the day? is he still napping twice?
- how do you get him to fall asleep initially? I’ve read one too many sleep books, including the one listed above. Someone, somewhere suggested that how they fall asleep initially will be how they fall back asleep when they wake in the middle of the night.
- my SIL suggested the book, THE BABY WHISPERER. It’s really meant to implement from the time you bring baby home, but she has a section toward the end that is a good alternative to Cry It Out (and there’s also a website with a section where you can ask questions from other mothers).
So sorry, Melissa! That DOES sound rough.
I’m not sure I have any wonderful advice since every family is different, but…have you considered bringing him into bed with you? Or setting up a mattress on the floor in his own room and having one parent sleep with him for awhile?
Also: I forgot to ask. How old is Colin?
My daughter is going through the exact same thing right now. No fever, no real illness, just a slightly runny nose. She was up ALL night last night and would only be occasionally soothed with alternate positions of holding and such. Just when we think she’s calm – she freaks out again. You’re not alone. You’re lucky your hubby was there! Mine is gone for work (as usual) and I’m suffering it alone!
i’m so glad to hear that removing the night light had the right effect! we’ll pray for it to continue!
couple of thoughts in case the screaming reappears…
don’t reward the crying behavior by picking colin up or talking to, singing to, or massaging him. and absolutely don’t bring him into your bed — you’ll just be trading this screaming problem with a bigger one. i think what you did at 3:40 is about the level of interaction you should have. mommy loves you, will keep you safe. period. hopefully he’ll get the idea that nighttime is boring. (i think 19 months is too young for night terrors; if i’m not mistaken, those occur around 4 years.)
this might mean a few nights of “letting him cry it out,” but you need to keep the end in sight! if you’re worried about him waking up the girls, perhaps they can have a camp-out downstairs (where i assume it would be quieter?) for a few nights until it gets worked out.
make sure colin is not sleeping too much during the day. i know you need his nap time — esp. when *you* need a nap! — but you need to make sure he’s very tired at bedtime. (little boys especially need to get physically exhausted every day! dad needs to help you with this part!)
one of the best shower gifts i got (20 years ago – gasp!) was a copy of “helping your child sleep through the night.” it would be well worth the $10 from amazon…
More fresh air. My kids didn’t start sleeping better until they started playing sports. Also, for now could you go to bed when he goes down at 8 since that’s his longest stretch. Could you ask Hubby to be in charge until midnight?
So sorry. I’m with you girl. It’s been a long road for me too. The sleep train is apparently pretty tough to board.
Do you have those homeopathic tablets for teething? I found they worked well. It’s worth a shot.