Today Ellie ran off the school bus and into my arms, sobbing.
The bully was at it again. Ellie said that she sat with a friend near the driver, but after her friend got off the bus, the bully came and sat next to her. Ellie said no. She pulled Ellie's hair. Ellie said no and called out to the bus driver, but he didn't hear her because it was so noisy. Then she pulled her hair again, hard. Ellie said no and called for help again, but nothing happened.
As she told us this, much more information came out. Like how this happened more than once last year. Like how this girl was talking about her to the other girls. Ellie said she doesn't know what she is saying, because she whispers about Ellie to her friends. Like how this girl told Ellie to give her one of her backpack charms or she would pull her hair again. She said no. Ellie said she "got really angry" and pulled her hair again.
So I spent the afternoon holding my sobbing six year old daughter, as she tells me of how it hurt when this girl pulled her hair, but it really hurt when she said mean things about her. Wiping away her tears as she asks "Why?", trying to explain something that is so beyond comprehension. Wiping away my own tears when she asks how she is to be loving to someone like that, the way God wants her to.
I am so upset that I can hardly stand it. And I'm really, really angry. What kind of kid does this? I just want to go to this girl's house and… I don't know what. She's torturing my child over a $1 Hello Kitty backpack charm from Target? Are you kidding me? And she waits until Ellie's friend leaves then moves up to sit with her!??! This is purposeful harassment. And how the girl never bothers Ellie at school, only on the bus where there are no teachers. And then Ellie finally told us the girl's name. I don't know if that makes it better or worse, having a name attached to the bully.
I talked to the bus driver yesterday, but CLEARLY that is not enough. My husband called the principal immediately after hearing all of this and I've contacted Ellie's teacher. I'm so over worrying about sounding overprotective or whatever. This is beyond just a little teasing and I'm getting involved.
And I'll be driving her to school tomorrow. I don't know what else to do. But I just can't watch my baby get hurt.
About Melissa
this is INFURIATING!!! The nerve! I’d like to march up to that bus and give this little brat a taste of her own medicine! I’m glad you’re calling the principal, and the teacher. When it comes to stuff like this, I really don’t think there is a such thing as overprotective.
Girl bullies are absolutely vicious… there are more of them than you’d think. It’s a psychological kind of bullying, so it often goes unnoticed by adults around them. Even once it’s called to their attention, there isn’t always physical evidence of it so it’s hard to monitor. You wouldn’t believe how bad it gets online and in high school — so it’s good that you’re dealing with it now.
Ever hear of the book Queen Bees and Wannabes?
On the (somewhat) bright side, at least Ellie talks to you about it. Confession time: I was bullied HORRIBLY by multiple kids all through elementary school, but was to embarrassed/ashamed to tell my parents. So instead of dealing with it I decided I was a bad person and consequently had terrible self-esteem issues. So yeah, I recommend keeping the lines of communication open.
Good luck. Hang in there.
The poor thing! Being the mother of a victim I know the anger and rage you are feeling. It is so hard to watch our children be picked on, especially when we are trying to teach them that violence and bullying are not the way to go.
I think driving her to school until it is resolved is the best thing you can do. The poor thing. Keep us updated! I would love to hear what the school says, along with the bus driver.
Girls are so mean. I hope that you guys get to the bottom of this really fast. For Ellies sake and your own.
Oh my gosh. I ache for you (and obviously for her, too). It’s so far beyond reason, and so painful to watch, I have no idea what I’d do. I’d be pretty tempted to find that girl and her mother and…
And yet Ellie still wants to be like Jesus. What a wonderful job you are doing with her! Keep it up!
I’m so sorry Ellie is going through this, as a girl who use to get bullied in elementary school by my “friends”, my heart breaks for her.
Maybe have tell her that when you say sit near the driver, sit directly behind the driver. I hope it works out- I feel so bad for Ellie and just want to give her a big hug:o(
I am so sorry that Ellie and you are going through this. I’m also glad that you contacted the school and are now involved. It is so wrong that a child acts this way.
I’m so glad your little girl told you. So many times kids are afraid to tell their parents. You did the right thing by going to the principal/teacher – they need to know. I’m shocked that this stuff starts at this age. I guess not so much shocked as disappointed. They are too young. I hope things get better. You have a beautiful little girl.
Oh my gosh! First, you are not being overprotective! I would be there in a heartbeat as well. Have you thought about calling this girls’ mom? I would try that.
My heart is breaking for you and she. I don’t think you’re being overprotective at all. It’s terrible and completely unacceptable. I have no advice as I have kids who are younger and are boys (and I’ll admit that I HOPE in this case there is a difference there…although come to think of it that might be asking for black eyes…ok, anyway), but I’ll say you should go with your instinct and how to handle it. It’s a very difficult situation and I’m so sorry you’re in it. I might consider calling the girl’s mom as well…
Oh, I’m so sorry. I agree with the others that you’re doing the exact right things- and that it’s wonderful that Ellie knows she can confide in you. I just said a prayer that this will get resolved quickly. Don’t be surprised if the bully’s dad gets notice of an out-of-state job transfer tomorrow…
Oh my goodness. How horrible! I agree with the others – it is really good that Ellie is telling you about it. You are absolutely doing the right thing in calling the principal and Ellie’s teacher. Is the girl in her class or her grade? I will pray for a quick resolution and for understanding for you all! Be sure to keep us posted on how the situation turns out!
Oh, my heart breaks for both of you. I’m so sorry. That wonderful though that Ellie is talking to you- and that she still want to do the right thing; good job Mama! It seems that going to the teachers and principle is a good idea at this point. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
I’ll pray for peace for both of you- I would have such a hard time not going “Mama Bear” all over that other little girl.
I have tears in my eyes for Ellie, and you. I am so glad you and your husband are intervening. My husband was bullied on the bus for a whole year and didn’t tell his parents and I think it still affects him in certain ways. Just makes me wonder what is going on in that girl’s life that makes her so mean and angry. Praying for you all!
Don’t ever worry about sounding overprotective. Long after there is distance between Ellie and the bully and it no longer hurts to remember the pain of the hair pulling and mean names, she will remember how you came to her defense and did all you could to protect her physically and emotionally. Your intervention will be long remembered by her and will have a lasting impact on your relationship.
I was thinking about Ellie and you all day at work today… I hope you’re making progress with the situation…
This breaks my heart, my daughter just graduated last year and is a freshman in college now, we had this to deal with constantly! We would both be in tears over it, girls are SO mean. What I found really strange (trust me I stewed many hours over this) was every girl she had trouble with did NOT have either a good home life or a close relationship with her mother. This was so bad that my daughter actually got in a wreck from a girl chasing her, she could have KILLED her. We had no choice but to involve the police, it was that bad. My heart hurts for you both your doing the right thing, protect her! My daughter and I are bestfriends, I do have to mention that it brings out the beast in us moms, I swear my blood pressure would sky rocket over it…you will get through it and it will get better, but darn!
HUGS!
If you need to talk or just vent please email me, seriously
I found out a YEAR LATER that a boy was whispering to my son, “I’m gonna punch your face!” It’s a good thing it was a year later cuz I wudda whispered something scary to HIM!
It’s your job to protect her. Yeah, fee her, clothe her blah blah blah. But ultimately, it’s to protect her. So she knows you are ON HER SIDE.
You go, grrrl.