Tomorrow I'm leaving for Las Vegas for 3 days. Without my kids. This will be my first night away from Colin.
Ever.
In his whole, entire 17-month life.
I had left my other kids overnight by now. Ellie, I left because I was having another baby and all. Gracie, I think I left for a funeral. I've never left a baby this early and certainly never left a baby for something as frivolous as Vegas!
I was cuddling him this morning, kissing his soft, warm, pudgy cheeks and I almost cried. What am I going to do without him? Even when I am dying to get away from him, suffocating in motherhood, I still miss him when I leave. Goodness, I miss him when I go to the grocery store. And when I call to check on him? And hear him in the background talking ("Ma-Ma! MAMA!")? Oh, how my heart squeezes.
And when I come home and he sees me and runs towards me with his arms out and gives me a gigantic hug… sigh…
And I'll miss my girls, of course. Gracie was crying this morning, hugging me and
saying how much she was going to miss me. "What will I do without you,
Mommy?" she sobbed. "Who will I snuggle with in the morning?" Don't even get me started on the fact that I will be gone on Thursday, which is Gracie's birthday.
So, this week I've learned that sometimes its hard to put yourself or your husband first. Sometimes its hard to turn off the Mommy and be Wife. Or Self.
I know I'm going to have fun and enjoy the time alone with my husband. I know how important this is to my marriage. And how I'll be a better mommy after having a break. And I know I need a break – believe me, I am really looking forward to this trip.
But I'm still going to miss my babies.
Kissing those cheeks goodbye at the airport and hearing him cry "Mama" as I walk away from him is going to break my heart.
More What I Learned This Week posts here.
About Melissa
One thing that I’ve learned about leaving the kids (and I hardly ever do it) is that, silly as it sounds, I think it really helps build their confidence. It’s good for them to see that they can make it without you, and that you believe in THEM enough to be ok with someone else you trust. (And you probably already know that…) Isn’t returning home the sweetest thing? (until someone throws up, or throws a fit!;) )
So I was fighting back the tears reading this post. I went through this same thing in April. I cried when I left my babies and I thought about them constantly. But, like you said, you need this for your marriage. And once you get there, you’ll get so caught up in the craziness that is Vegas, you will really enjoy yourself. I’m speaking from experience. It’s hard, you have mommy guilt, but in the end, it is worth the adult time. I’ll be thinking of you!!
Golly he is gorgeous, have a great trip
I think we have all gone through this agony. Ugh. I don’t know if it’s worse when you HAVE to go or when you CHOOSE to go. Either way, we beat ourselves up about it. I wish I could say, “don’t do that”, but then it would just sound like what you know you are supposed to hear. So, I will say, “Go ahead and do it and then enjoy your trip”.
Hugs and safe travels! You can do it!
The kids are at Camp Grandma now, left on Sunday and will be coming home to me on Thursday night. Daycare is closed from now until September 9th! So I sent them away…so I could go to work. I’m taking off Friday, we’re taking a family trip to Storyland (amazing kid’s amusement park in New Hampshire) for a long weekend, then they’re getting lots more days with either mom or dad before school starts again. It’s Max’s first time away from me in his 19 months of life, and I’m missing him terribly. But it’s been so wonderful to go to non-kid-friendly restaurants and tackle some home improvement projects without them around. But I miss miss miss them.
I left my baby overnight with Nana for the first time this summer. I was up at the crack of dawn wanting to head home to see her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder (if that’s even possible).
Oh I went through the same thing last November when I went away for a wedding. It was tough but the time away was a good way to re-energize and regroup and absence does make the heart grow fonder. Enjoy your time with your husband.
You will have a wonderful time! And it’ll be such a great feeling to see your little one after you had some time away! I remember I left my daughter (now 19 months) overnight with my parents when she was really young, like 4 months old. I stay home with her and my husband and I really needed a night out for the two of us. It was exactly what our marriage needed and it was fantastic to go and pick her up the next day!!
Sometimes you have to suffer through the guilt for some real quality time with your husband. Imagine how nice some time away alone with your husband will be!
It is very hard, but sometimes that makes the time away even more precious! Think of all the things you will do, even while in the back of your mind you will be missing your kids.
We spent 5 days in Vegas, and that was the longest I had EVER been away from my kids. It was hard, but so worth it.
I hope you have the best time!!
Ohhh, he’ll be FINE. Have a BLAST!!! And I love the tweaks you’ve made to your design! VERY CUTE!