Staying at home with three kids by myself while my husband is traveling for work is quite a trip for me as well. Usually by the end of the week, I was exhausted, the house is a disaster and patience had left the building. But, over time, I've learned a few little tricks and developed a good attitude about his traveling.
Sticker Charts
Each girl gets a piece of paper with their name on it and we hang them up on the wall of the kitchen. At the end of the week when Daddy comes home, the kids are thrilled to show him all of the stickers they earned by quick obedience, being loving, doing chores, etc.
Quick meals
I’m totally not motivated to cook when my husband is gone. And my kids love it. Meals like breakfast for dinner, hot dogs, quesadillas, and grilled cheese are easy, (somewhat) nutritious, and don’t require lots of cooking or clean up. Paper plates are your friends.
Plan, plan, plan
The time between dinner and bedtime can drag like you would not believe. Planning will save your sanity. The first night he is gone, we go to the library to get new books and movies. We have Popcorn Pajama Parties, where the kids and I pile up on the couch in our pjs and watch a movie. We’ll snuggle up in my bed and read books all evening. Sometimes when I need to get out of the house we’ll head over to Barnes and Noble or Ikea.
Then have a backup plan
Pick up a movie or toy on sale and save it for when you really, really need it. If your kids love stickers, have a stash of stickers handy. My kids love to color, so I pick up new coloring books at the Dollar Store to pull out on a particularly long night.
Strength in numbers
Send out an SOS email – there is probably another mom who has a traveling husband too! Get together! One mom brings the nuggets, the other brings the french fries, the kids get entertained and you get some adult conversation!
The day of…
I try to make sure Husband does not come home to a disaster. I clean the house during the afternoon on the day he is coming home. My kids like to “help” me, by dusting or cleaning up their room. Then I get the kids bathed and dressed in their pajamas and get dinner made. That way, when he is home, we can all just relax.
It’s so tempting to make my husband feel guilty when he travels. He’s jetting around Europe, going to amazing restaurants, not to mention sleep in a hotel room with no kids waking him up all night. I’m stuck at home with the kids, eating fish sticks. Again. But he’s not on vacation. He’s super busy on these trips and usually comes home exhausted and jet lagged.
One of my favorite cookbooks is Barefoot Contessa at Home and this quote from the introduction really spoke to me: “Most weeks, Jeffrey has been around the world and back and when he walks in that door, I want him to feel that he's really home. What he doesn't realize is that what feels very casual is, in fact, quite deliberate: the music is playing, all the lights are on, there are flowers everywhere, and chicken and onions are roasting in the oven.” And I realized that is what I wanted for my husband. Do I want him to dread the chaos he is coming home to? Or do I want him to walk in the door wanting to be nowhere else in the world? And a few tricks to save my sanity and one afternoon of cleaning make that possible.
About Melissa
although I am not the stay home wife of a traveling husband anymore, i do remember those 7 years and this post really helped me with that.
I mean, all of my friends (during that time) had non-traveling husbands. I felt so inadequate because I couldn’t always “pull it together”…
Eventually we got a niche, but we had to refind it every time he left.
Ironically, when my husband was in Mi while Genny and I were here for those 8 months, it was SOOOOOO much easier, because there wasn’t the “coming and going”. I never thought it would have been.
You are an amazing woman. I aspire to such a servant’s heart. Thanks for the tips. Mr Handsome doesn’t travel but he does work late several nights a week and those will come in handy.
Oh my gosh. I could have written this post…at least about the traveling husband. I must check your blog out a little deeper…we might be living parallel lives!
Great tips. I’m surrounded by chaos at the moment, but nice reminders of how to keep it sane.
oops, I forgot to leave my website.
Thank you! Occasionally Hubby travels, or works overtime, like this summer when he travled most of the summer. Summer, no school, kids all day, kids all night.
I do the SOS call and keep dinners simple. We kept our days hopping by staying scheduled, but by the end of the summer I was dragging.
I’m marking this for future reference, thank you.
Great post – thanks for sharing your tips!
ugh, forgive the ugly heart, but “the day of”, i have plans lined up with and i jet out of there like a bat outta hell… clearly, girlymama wins the wife award- pass me another martini… i know, i’m hideous… i will try to change my ways…
those travelling days are the worst….anything more than 3 nights and i’m ready to be committed. loved your ideas…i do the easy dinners too. and the movies and snuggle time!
you did good!!
Good grief I needed to read this. As I sit, my husband is on a three day trip that may turn into four day trip. Next week he’ll be on another four day trip. Currently we are on a travel two days a week/three weeks a month schedule and I’m pregnant with our third. Could your post have come at a better time? I think not
I was just about to pull my hair out tonight and needed to badly to get some perspective. Thanks!
I thought I wrote this article. My husband is gone most times throughout the week. He comes home maybe on the weekends, and we miss lots of time together. I have been a bit resentful lately as I believe while I work and have the house and child and animals, that I am the only one with responsibility. We have been married for over a year and I have no friends in the area I moved to with him. I needed to read some positive reinforcement and will continue. Thank you for all the great ideas.
Thanks for sharing your information. My husband travels for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. I find the time away from him is very difficult for me and the kids. Seems like I just get into a routine and then he comes home. It can be frustrating and I am trying not to resent him because of the travelling. But it is hard. I do most of the things you do to help pass the time while he is gone. Still I find that sometimes its just not enough. Need the time to myself to relax at times.
Hearing others go through this too, helps.
I know this is a little late but I wanted to thank you for this. I feel like a single mother of a one year old, as much as my husband is gone. This made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t be sitting here crying because I’m not the only one going through it. I should be thankful for a husband that will come home eventually.