We had gone to the pool that morning. We got home and took the girls inside to get them showered and packed up for our outing that afternoon. After the girls were all dressed and settled, I began to make lunch.
"Could you bring Colin up?" I asked Husband. "He'll need to eat soon."
"Where is he?" Husband asked.
"I don't know, where did you put him when you brought him in from the car?"
"I thought you brought him in," he replied.
We looked at each other for a second. Then tore out of the house.
Colin was still in his car seat.His face was bright red, there were tear stains on his little face and he was super warm. We scooped him up and brought him in the house and began cooling him down. He wasn't even crying anymore – he was so hot and exhausted.
We had left our baby, our two-month-old baby, in the car. For over 20 minutes. In 90 degree weather. With the windows up. Even now, 4 months later, I cry when I think about him: hot, strapped in his car seat and crying. Crying for us to come get him. And we weren't coming.
The responsibility of being a parent is overwhelming. We have been entrusted with these helpless little babies. And we forget how fragile they are. Things often go so smoothly that we forget how things can change in a heartbeat. I almost lost my baby because I was distracted and careless.
It is so easy to judge when you hear about some baby who died after being left in the car. Or the toddler who is run over in their own driveway. Or the preschooler who drowns in the family pool. We're saddened, of course. But part of us thinks "What kind of careless, neglectful parent lets that happen?"
We think we're better parents than that.
Something like that could never happen to us. Only to "someone else."
We are all human. We all make mistakes, are careless or get distracted. It is by the grace of God alone that Colin is okay and we didn't end up on the news as a tragic story related to the heat wave.
And I know how we roll our eyes as the pediatrician lectures us on not leaving the baby on the changing table or about bathtub safety. Of course we know all about that. We're good parents! But there are also good parents out there who just made a simple mistake that ended up having dire consequences. And not one of us is above making mistakes.
God was merciful in protecting my baby. I was lucky.
Its taken me several months to share this with you. Because I was embarrassed and ashamed. But I needed to share. If only to show you that "someone else" was almost me.
About Melissa
You’re brave for sharing that — thank you.
I can’t imagine how you felt, but this is very brave of you to share. Its so easy to become distracted, it can happen to anyone.
Oh my goodness. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you…for sharing this. I admit, most ashamed, that I have been one of those people to judge the parents when I hear of those cases. Where were they? What were they thinking? Some people just shouldn’t be parents! Please forgive me as I, unknowinly, judged you, too.
You were right to share. It is a good reminder for those of us who are, often, too quick to judge. It’s also a good reminder to slow down for those of us who are ‘task oriented’.
Love you girlymama!
Thank you for sharing your heart and for putting yourself out there!
wow, you’re braver than I. there are some very close calls I’ve had that I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to admit to. I’m so glad you remembered Colin! we could all use a little slap to wake us up occassionally and this post was mine for today. thanks.
and making that mistake doesn’t make your a bad parent, admitting it makes you a great parent.
I hope you don’t mind, but I have linked to you from my last post. I really think people need to read this.
Thanks again for being brave enough to share.
Not sure if this was inspired by Oprah’s recent show, but thanks for sharing your story. I have often felt that this could happen to my husband or I on any given day. Two fulltime jobs and two kids in fulltime daycare – a small change in routine and we could be in major trouble. It’s something I’ve thought of often, and I actually try to keep it in mind so that I do stay present when my kids are in the car. I also try to check with my husband about how drop off went when I get to work, just to surreptitiously make sure drop off happened (we each take one kid on our way to work). It can happen to anyone.
You are very brave to share this. Thanks for the reminder that we all make mistakes. And for the reminder that our God is a gracious and merciful Father.
I’m so sorry, how scary for all of you. You’re right, it could happen to any of us. I’m so glad that God was watching out for you both and reminded you. Thanks for sharing your story
Girlymama,
I just found you via standing at the crossroads… for the sake of time I copied the comment I left there (so sorry to be so lame, but in a huge hurry). I am grateful you spot lighted this topic. I really like your blog. I’ll be back.
Blessings,
Roxanne
Comment at Standing at the Crossroads:
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness… this is so so so so so true. We really need to be careful as parents. If my only child was the one with a caretaker bent I would be uber snobby mom because that would be my only perspective. Most parents are working to the bone, trying their hardest. We do not all need to look cookie cutter for that to be accomplished, and if someone looks different than us we should be non-juegemental. There is a big difference between discernment/protecting your child and judgement. The latter makes us no different than 5th grade girls starting to get caught up in click formation (for some reason as a teacher that is when I see it starting).
Thanks for your heart,
Roxanne
You ARE brave. But by the grace of God go I. I often think this when it comes to my little girl. I can only imagin how much you have suffered the past few months with what could have been. Unimaginable.
This happened in the town in which I grew up last summer. The grandfather who left his grandson in the car was arrested and charged with manslaughter. When I watched the news footage, I was overcome with sadness for that family. Not only to lose a child in such a horrible circumstance but then to have another loved one go through a trial for something which was, although preventable, nothing more than a tragic mistake.
Thank you for sharing your story.
OMG. I came close to doing that myself one day. It was the most horrifying feeling. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully this is a wake up call to any parent reading. We’re all capable of making a careless mistake with dreadful consequences. (((hug)))
Thank you for sharing this. I understand you must have been shaking when you hit publish, but we all know how these things can happen. Especially when there are two parents present, and we assume the other is taking care of something while they assume the same of us. I often note that I feel the kids are less watched when we are both home. It’s very scary. And I hope you felt some relief after writing this and have allowed yourself some peace to let go of what happened.
I too have done the smae thing. We had gone to my in-laws house to visit and at this time we had 5 children. We all got out and went into the house and after awhile I asked where Creighton was. She was about 2 at the time. We ran all over and even looking in the pool hoping not to find her there. Nope instead my nephew found her out in the van in her car seat crying for us. And you will never believe this we lived in Phoenix at the time and this happened in the dead of summer. This was an act of mercy and grace from God.
Thanks for posting this and helping all of heal who have been through this before.
Bless your worn out, little heart! We are all frighteningly human, aren’t we. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you feel comforted with the knowledge that we all do things that we think we would never do. And praise God that Colin is so fat and happy! It makes your 20-pounder even sweeter.
Goodness, thank you for sharing and the healing that is beginning for you, I have often thought about how those accidents happen, but they do, we had a close call with one of our granddaughters 5 years ago when she was 3, an adult and two siblings in the jacuzzi and it happened so quickly!!! Thank our Lord, she is ok, prayers come your way from me. Nana C
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing. Most times it is NOT neglectful parents, just an accident.
We have had many close calls as I am sure every parent has. And although we try to be cautious of our actions, sometimes we slip.
I commend you for being courageous enough to share your story. I think that all of us have done something neglectful to our children out of just being human. We’re not perfect! We had an assembly at school today and one message that the speaker tried to convey was that a real hero tells the truth. Today, you are my hero!!
I came over from Heather’s blog. I agree that we are all able to make mistakes and am not willing to judge the mistakes of others because its too easy for me to make the same ones. When I’ve heard of tragedies I think of the pain the parents must be going through not about the mistake they made – they suffer enough by beating themselves up they certainly don’t need someone like me doing it too.
Thank goodness he was okay. Oh my word. Something similar happened earlier this year. The boys got out of the car and I took Zander (2) out. They older two left one of the doors open, so Zander climbed right back in. One of them noticed the open door and closed it. Mid-summer. Thankfully the car was in the garage. The boys were playing outside, so I assumed Zander was with them (as is always the case). I went out to join them and noticed my little boy crying in the car. He too was so hot.
It happens so easily