qualities of a mother

There are some obvious, mushy qualities that everyone talks about. Things like a mother’s “unconditional love” and “patience” and “self-sacrifice” blah blah blah. But I’ve been noticing some not-so-sentimental ones that come in very handy in keeping sane during this little adventure called motherhood.

1. the ability to ignore things. Things like sticky floors. Fingerprints on the walls. That the entire roll of toilet paper has been unrolled and then (very messily) re-rolled going the wrong direction. That little foot that will not stop kicking the back of your seat no matter how many times you ask its owner to stop. That favorite movie or cd that plays over and over and over and over and over….

2. the ability to hold two conversations simultaneously. This usually comes in handy when you are talking on the telephone. Because you can not even see your kids all day until the phone rings. Then they have at least 6 very important questions. This may fluster some people, but a mom can take it in stride. “Yes, I’m calling to make an appointment for my minivan. No, you can not have a cookie right now. I was hoping to bring it in next week. Because I said so, that’s why. Well, its making this weird clunking sound when I turn corners. I mean it, if you take a cookie you will be in big trouble! I checked under all the seats and found a bunch of stuff, but its still making that sound. Oh, you are in so much trouble when I hang up this phone, young lady. Wednesday is perfect! Thanks!”

3. the ability to survive on very, very little sleep. This is learned quite early and comes in handy often. The exhaustion does not end when the baby is “sleeping through the night.” There will still be nights where you are up 6 times with your four-year-old.

4. the ability to get down and dirty. Besides the fact that you may find it seriously difficult to shower, no job is beneath you now that you are a mom. Cleaning up poop? Your job. Getting peed on? Check. Human Kleenex? That’s you. Barf? Oh, yes. There will be barf. All you, honey.

5. the ability to keep your mouth shut. Like when you want to scream “What is the matter with you? Have you learned absolutely nothing since you’ve been born!?!?!?” But instead you grit your teeth and say “Now what did we learn about flushing rocks down the toilet? Is that a good idea?” This really comes into play when your child starts to dress themselves. “Um, yeah. That looks great, sweetie. I would have never thought to wear those things together. Are those my socks?”

6. the ability to multi-task. This is not surfing the Internet while watching tv or ironing while talking on the phone. This is serious multi-tasking. This is cooking dinner while helping your child with homework while vacuuming while making lunches for tomorrow while doing laundry while baking cupcakes for a class party. During which you might be talking on the phone to another mom doing the same things.

7. the ability to get over it. Quickly. Get over that sickness. Get over being tired. Get over that bad mood. Get over that annoyance with the know-it-all room mother who you really, really want to tell to get over herself. Get over that lingering anger with your child. Moms have to power through and keep going. Life is too quick and too busy to stay sick/mad/annoyed for long.

8. the ability to live without privacy.  It starts in the delivery room where your sense of modesty gets stomped on by the legions of perfect strangers who will see your hoo-ha. Its never getting to pee by yourself. Its having your peaceful shower interrupted, as your child’s head pops into view asking, “Are you done yet, Mom?” Its never being able to eat or drink anything without answering 20 questions about what it is, what it tastes like and whether they can have some. Its little bodies crowding you out of your own bed. Its little mouths that repeat things you say, sometimes with embarrassing consequences.

9. the ability to wing it. You can plan and plan and plan. But your day will rarely reflect said plan. Kids get sick on the day you absolutely must go somewhere important. Babysitters cancel and you’re stuck dragging your kids to your ob/gyn appointment where they ask terribly embarrassing questions while your doctor (who has 3 kids herself) tries not to laugh outloud. Or your day was going perfectly normal and somehow you ended up in the emergency room wondering how many stitches it will take this time. Or you go to open that package of chicken breasts for dinner and notice a funny smell so you look at the package to discover they expired week ago. Or you forget to make dinner completely. So you put everyone in their pajamas and announce its backwards day and you’re all having cereal for dinner.

What qualities do you think mom’s need to have?