Here are my guilty parenting secrets. Now, I know all of ya’ll are convinced I am perfect *ahem* so you may be quite shocked by some of this:
1. My kids have never had a swimming lesson. But I told my pediatrician they had because I was embarrassed. They’ve also never been to the dentist.
2. I’m really bad about giving them vitamins. Really. Bad. Seriously, if you see Dr. Field, please don’t tell her.
3. They have gone an entire calendar week without a bath. Yup, that’s right. Seven days.
4. I let my kids eat non-organic food. Like candy. And McDonalds. And cookie dough. And they both love to take sips of my coffee.
5. My kids call for Daddy in the middle of the night because I’m mean to them when they wake me up. Especially after 2am.
6. When Daddy is out of town, we have either scrambled eggs, cereal, grilled cheese or frozen pizza for dinner. That’s about it. This gets old when he is gone for a full week. If I’m feeling guilty about not cooking, I may compensate by taking themour for pizza.
7. My kids have never, ever used glitter because the very thought of an open glitter container in my house makes me hyperventilate.
8. My kids regularly make me cry. Not in a good way.
9. I sometimes feed them breakfast, then turn on the TV. And go back to bed for another hour or two.
10. I usually don’t do all that extra stuff the school sends home for “extra enrichment.” I also rarely volunteer in the kids schools because I can’t stand most of the other Alpha-Moms.
There you have it. Some of my guilty parenting secrets. (That’s right, I said “some” there’s more that I’m too embarrassed to share 
About Melissa
Hey, I’m an anti-glitter mommy too! The thought of the lid even cracking off the top of a glitter container makes my eye start twitching for hours. NO WAY!
Hahaha! And I don’t do glitter either. Which shouldn’t surprise you at all.
Oh, and when we were in Maine, my kids took ONE bath the whole two weeks. ONE. I figure, they swam in the lake almost every day. That ought to count for something, right?
I use this tip to decide if my kids need a bath…. (In the winter when it isn’t so obvious) “If you can’t remember the last time they had a bath, then maybe it is time.
Glitter: I know I’m judgmental because I think it is depriving a child artistic expression to not allow them to use glitter, BUT my kids have never used glitter and I was all too happy to send all my unopened bottles with a short term missions group this summer to use at a camp!!!
Loved your confessions! Wish more moms I knew were more transparent!
Um….I cannot believe that you and I are twins….or we are the same person living in parallel universes. Wow. That is really scary.
Can I be your friend? I love your musings…
That could be my list–my exact list.
Well, except that here Daddy doesn’t go out of town, but when he works late, it’s usually cereal or frozen pizza for supper.